Sometimes, I wonder…

Things I’ve learned while being out of commission:

Being all alone in a cabin all day is actually pretty boring. And by “boring”, I mean there’s a distinct lack of distractions, which is a bad thing for me. Especially right now. Sure, Totem’s here some days and so is Scarlet Court. But they’re out in the city just as often, doing whatever it is they’re doing. Mostly patrolling. And hanging out. That’s the part that gets me the most.

And Moonshine is still by the penthouse. I haven’t even heard her voice in weeks, let alone seen her. I get updates from Scarlet Court every now and then. I hear she’s gotten a new pet, some garish spider thing that looks like one of Dr. Synergy’s spider things. I’m not surprised. Scarlet Court tells me Moonshine’s been “training it”, which she keeps using as a justification for Moonshine not coming by to see me.

Bound Radical’s more or less off the radar. Totem and Scarlet Court haven’t told me anything about what he’s up to and I haven’t asked. He doesn’t seem to be too much of an outright danger. A thief, maybe, and a purveyor of supervillainous wares. But not an express danger.

Speaking of Bound Radical, and this is the reason I brought him up. Having robotic hands is weird. There’s all kinds of nerve systems in them, tiny pressure plates or something that let me feel when I’m pressing up against something, but they don’t let me feel things. There’s no pain or anything with these. I can’t feel how cold it my bed is at night or how warm Totem’s hot chocolate is. It kinda sucks.

Most nights, when Totem and Scarlet Court are either asleep or not here, it’s so quiet here. I never really noticed how quiet it gets in this cabin until I stopped being able to leave it. Now I’m pretty much isolated, trapped in a cage of wood in the middle of the silent forest.

So that’s pretty much why I need distractions. It’s quiet, and quiet lets me think, and thinking makes me remember how much pain I’m in, makes me remember the nightmares I have every couple nights, makes me remember everything I’d really rather forget.

Totem’s been talking about pulling a Batgirl-turns-Oracle thing with me, but most of the tech we’d need for that is at the penthouse. We talked about it earlier today. He went by there and talked to Moonshine about maybe moving me in there, partly so I’d have access to that tech and partly so I could be with her. He hasn’t come back yet.

She didn’t seem very enthusiastic, according to him.

Sometimes, I honestly wonder why I was ever friends with her. But I try not to. That just makes me think of the secrets she’s apparently kept from me and how terrible of a friend she’s been and it makes me wonder how we ever worked as superheroes to begin with.

Maybe we should never have become superheroes. It doesn’t seem like we’ve been doing a very good job of it. Just like Kick-Ass, except with actual powers and the psychopathic superhero-turned-supervillain father of my best friend taking a hacksaw to the hands  and a boot to the chest instead of a dopey green wetsuit and a knife to the gut.

Maybe I’ll be better after I get better. Maybe Moonshine will be there for me then too.

Maybe the forest is filled with flying monkeys.

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