Lonely at night

Totem and Scarlet Court aren’t here tonight. Neither is Moonshine. None of them are answering my calls.

This is what makes all of this so hard to bear. Not being able to breathe without feeling like I just got stabbed in the lungs, not being able to feel things with my hands anymore, not being able to walk at all…I’d be able to easily take that all in stride if I just had one of the only three people I consider my friends here with me.

I don’t want to sound selfish. Except maybe I do. I know I’ve asked a lot from Moonshine. She was the only one there after my parents died. And I know I’ve really only just met Totem and especially Scarlet Court, and those two are here a lot and that’s great. But nights like this, and that’s every night, the only thing I ever need is someone who I care about to be here for me and not leave me alone with my thoughts and my nightmares.

I know. Totem is a superhero and so is Scarlet Court. They have duties, just like I did before I got all knocked up, and not in the romantic-comedy way.  But Moonshine? We just got her off the hook for a killing spree and she hasn’t even stopped by to say “hey, best friend I’ve known my entire life, how are you feeling? do you need anything? like someone to distract you so you don’t break down again?”

All she’s done is train her fancy-ass new spider pet.

The forest is really lonely at night.


Sometimes, I wonder…

Things I’ve learned while being out of commission:

Being all alone in a cabin all day is actually pretty boring. And by “boring”, I mean there’s a distinct lack of distractions, which is a bad thing for me. Especially right now. Sure, Totem’s here some days and so is Scarlet Court. But they’re out in the city just as often, doing whatever it is they’re doing. Mostly patrolling. And hanging out. That’s the part that gets me the most.

And Moonshine is still by the penthouse. I haven’t even heard her voice in weeks, let alone seen her. I get updates from Scarlet Court every now and then. I hear she’s gotten a new pet, some garish spider thing that looks like one of Dr. Synergy’s spider things. I’m not surprised. Scarlet Court tells me Moonshine’s been “training it”, which she keeps using as a justification for Moonshine not coming by to see me.

Bound Radical’s more or less off the radar. Totem and Scarlet Court haven’t told me anything about what he’s up to and I haven’t asked. He doesn’t seem to be too much of an outright danger. A thief, maybe, and a purveyor of supervillainous wares. But not an express danger.

Speaking of Bound Radical, and this is the reason I brought him up. Having robotic hands is weird. There’s all kinds of nerve systems in them, tiny pressure plates or something that let me feel when I’m pressing up against something, but they don’t let me feel things. There’s no pain or anything with these. I can’t feel how cold it my bed is at night or how warm Totem’s hot chocolate is. It kinda sucks.

Most nights, when Totem and Scarlet Court are either asleep or not here, it’s so quiet here. I never really noticed how quiet it gets in this cabin until I stopped being able to leave it. Now I’m pretty much isolated, trapped in a cage of wood in the middle of the silent forest.

So that’s pretty much why I need distractions. It’s quiet, and quiet lets me think, and thinking makes me remember how much pain I’m in, makes me remember the nightmares I have every couple nights, makes me remember everything I’d really rather forget.

Totem’s been talking about pulling a Batgirl-turns-Oracle thing with me, but most of the tech we’d need for that is at the penthouse. We talked about it earlier today. He went by there and talked to Moonshine about maybe moving me in there, partly so I’d have access to that tech and partly so I could be with her. He hasn’t come back yet.

She didn’t seem very enthusiastic, according to him.

Sometimes, I honestly wonder why I was ever friends with her. But I try not to. That just makes me think of the secrets she’s apparently kept from me and how terrible of a friend she’s been and it makes me wonder how we ever worked as superheroes to begin with.

Maybe we should never have become superheroes. It doesn’t seem like we’ve been doing a very good job of it. Just like Kick-Ass, except with actual powers and the psychopathic superhero-turned-supervillain father of my best friend taking a hacksaw to the hands  and a boot to the chest instead of a dopey green wetsuit and a knife to the gut.

Maybe I’ll be better after I get better. Maybe Moonshine will be there for me then too.

Maybe the forest is filled with flying monkeys.


Right. Let’s update one arc at a time here.

First up: I’m out of the hospital now, though not healed by a long shot. I’m hanging around the cabin now, with Totem looking after me. My legs are still broken. My chest still hurts. My hands are still Skywalkered. But at least I feel like I’m at home here. Even though he visibly tries to keep himself from caring too much for me, I still appreciate that he’s around as much as he is.

Moonshine is done with her little Night Stalker rampage, racking up a grand total of nine villains. I can’t remember most of them. I can remember Peer Review and Daddy Issue, though. She killed Daddy Issue on the night of the solar eclipse.

Totem and Scarlet Court found her rooting through the wreckage of Dr. Synergy’s lab. She still hasn’t told anybody why she was there, but given what I know about Synergy, I can pretty much guess why. She fought them off, but Totem ended up subduing her and taking her to the police. Scarlet Court didn’t like that very much, but we were able to work a complicated little mass of deals.

Well, I say “we”, but it was really more like Bound Radical working some secret shit he hasn’t told me about. He hasn’t blogged about it either. Annoying. Anyway, as it turns out, he’s been working out some stuff with Fleshmonger, trying to get back into his good graces for the express purpose of helping Moonshine out. He was able to blackmail Fleshmonger (by aging all of his “assets”, I assume, and refusing to de-age them until Fleshy gave him what he wanted) into having Commissioner Barracuda let Moonshine off more or less scot-free for her rampage.

This turns out to have been part of Johnny Ocean’s plan to get Commissioner O’Hanlon back in place, as he published evidence connecting Barracuda with Fleshmonger in the Sun, and further evidence exonerating O’Hanlon. I dunno, it’s complicated, and I doubt it’s entirely legal. I’m sure the whole thing played out like one of Tarantino’s better movies in Ocean’s head.

So once O’Hanlon got back in and replaced Barracuda, we were able to convince him to let Moonshine on probation, given that she had only killed villains, and not innocents. As long as she doesn’t leave the county or kill anybody else for a year, she’s free.

So that’s good. She’s been holed up in the penthouse pretty much ever since. She refuses to talk to Totem, but Scarlet Court is another story, and one I doubt I’ll hear. It turns out Scarlet Court really is her sister, though they’ve kept quiet on the full story for now.

I hear Moonshine got a new pet, but nobody’s told me what it is yet. I didn’t think she was the type for pets myself.

Bound Radical is back to being a “neutral” underground party, or whatever he is. I haven’t really spoken to him in a while, and he hasn’t updated his blog since he and Totem took down Dr. Synergy.

As for Johnny Ocean, let me just say that he asks some pretty skeezy questions. I agreed to the interview, but not the support of his little Facebook thing, which I see hasn’t come to much. If you’re interested, the interview’s in tomorrow’s Spotlight Sun.

So that’s pretty much everything. Like a poorly-wrapped Christmas present left under a dead tree.

Solar Eclipse

The solar eclipse is starting. It makes me feel like when the sun is going down, only worse because it’s in the middle of the day. It makes me a bit dizzy for about a half-hour and gives me a minor headache. Now, of course, it’s gonna make my already constant headache even worse and probably make me throw up again. Not fun. Not in the mood to say about much else.

A murderer appears?

So. Have you heard the news?

Literally, because this was on the news.

Peer Review is dead. He was one of the newer villains. I think I’ve only talked about him all of once on here. The police were only able to identify his body because of the note that was left with it.

“Peer Review: GUILTY.”

It was signed by the Night Stalker. Everybody’s got their panties all in a twist over it, but I figured it out pretty much the minute I heard the name.

I wish I could be out there right now. Instead, the only connection I’ve got is a phone line. Scarlet Court figured it out pretty quickly too. I’m starting to believe her. We had to tell Totem who it was. They’re out there now, trying to find the Night Stalker before the police do.

Peer Review may have been a murderer, but the police generally don’t tolerate vigilante murders. Or murder at all. It’s kind of against the law, y’know.

So I’m here in the hospital, about to throw up again because of all these damn feelings. I don’t think I like this year very much.

Today must be a Thursday…

Today’s been a busy day, mostly for the visitors I’ve had.

I managed to fall asleep around 4 last night. Thank god I didn’t have any nightmares this time around. Hurt like hell though. I had a lot of fun trying to convince Totem to go look for Moonshine instead of sitting here by my side. (It was actually really really difficult.) But he finally left sometime after he made sure I was as okay as I’m gonna be for the next several weeks.

About an hour after he left, I got a visitor, which I wasn’t expecting at all. I was expecting who it actually was even less. Moonshine’s sister. I didn’t even know she had a sister. All the times I’ve spent at Moonshine’s penthouse, all the times I’ve heard her mom and dad talk about the good old days, all the pictures I’ve seen, not once have I heard even the slightest clue that Moonshine might have a sister.

It was like a tv show, introducing a new character with nothing hinting at their existence beforehand. I didn’t believe who she said she was, of course. She pulled out pictures of her and a much, much younger Moonshine. MUCH younger. I can’t emphasize how much younger she was. She was wearing a PINK sundress, for god’s sake. Can you imagine Moonshine in pink? I certainly can’t.

She showed me a couple other pictures and an ID, told me stories, all that sort of thing. I still don’t fully believe her. Her excuse for nothing mentioning her was being disowned by her parents. She refused to tell me why, but Moonshine’s parents don’t seem the type to out and out disown their own kids like that. They were superheroes, for god’s sake. Or were, given what happened to her father.

I finally got around asking why she was there after the awkward silence. She said she was in town to help look for Moonshine, who didn’t want to let go of her sister in the first, second, or third places. She figured if anyone could get find and get through to Moonshine right now, it would be her.

Whatever. I don’t really believe her, and I won’t until I get Moonshine’s take on it. And that won’t happen until she’s found, obviously. Her “sister” said she’d get pretty much right to searching after she left the hospital.

Before she left, she told me one last thing to try to get me to believe her. It was a funny little thing about Moonshine that I thought nobody but her and I knew. No way in hell I’m telling you guys what it is.

I dunno. I have to say, she does look an awful lot like Moonshine and her mom. They’ve got the same mouth and the same sort of freckles. She doesn’t keep her hair like Moonshine, though; Moonshine’s got a pixie cut and her supposed sister’s hair is down to her shoulders and curly.

She told me to call her Scarlet Court in the blog, which tells me three things. She plans to be a superhero (or at least a masked crimefighter), she reads my blog, and she likes appropriately generational nicknames. Joy. So uh, I guess if you see that name in the news? You’ll know who it is.

I probably shouldn’t have said that. Apparently, the SCPD and Commissioner Barracuda are among my readers.

Screw it.

My second visitor was from someone who gave me enough worry to upset my stomach into making me throw up. That wasn’t very pleasant.

If you’ve lived in Spotlight City for more than a few weeks, you’ve probably at least seen the cover of the Spotlight Sun. It’s pretty much our version of the Daily Bugle or the Daily Planet or, y’know, any classic comic book city’s hometown newspaper. It even has an “accidentally” appropriate name, given the supergirl most commonly associated with the city.

Well, my second visitor, a few hours after Scarlet Court left, was the editor of the Spotlight Sun, Johnny Ocean himself. Yeah, his name sounds like something from a skeezy caper flick. He seemed like that too, if the caper flick in question was written and directed by Quentin Tarantino.

I think if there was a movie based on my life, I’d want Tarantino to play him, too.

He came in with his fast-talking and his seasoning of swears, and eventually got to the point. He wanted two things out of me. The first was an exclusive interview with me, something no news magazine or talk show has been able to do so far. I don’t like news people.

Maybe that’s why that radio show from a few months ago fell through, they weren’t able to score an interview with me so their funding got cut. Tough.

The second thing was my collaboration on some Facebook publicity thing he wanted to do, given all the heroes and villains overshadowing the normal criminals and making those criminals want to step up their game and get noticed and that sort of thing. As he says it, it’ll be like Showdown Lowdown but on Facebook and minus the interviews. Apparently, it’ll just be news updates centering on the heroes and villains in this city.

I think it’s a terrible idea, of course. I think it’ll fall through, like the radio show did.

I think the interview is a terrible idea too, but he had a little bargaining chip. Namely, he had quite a lot of money to spare, and he was willing to spare it on every single member of hospital staff, to make sure they didn’t tell anyone my real name. In return for the interview, of course.

See? Skeezy.

I told him I needed time to think about it. He gave me until after the solar eclipse, then the deal is off the table. I asked him why he wanted this now, and he said it was because he had the opportunity. And a bargaining chip.

Naturally. Iconic superhero gets put in the hospital, the first thing the skeezy local news wants is to twist it to their advantage. See why I hate the media now?

We didn’t say much else. When he left, the room felt much less greasy.

Totem came back a few hours after that, to check in and tell me he hadn’t found Moonshine, but had been contacted by Scarlet Court. He wanted to talk to me about her, get my take and that kind of thing. Apparently, she mentioned me to him. They’re going to make a hesitant team out of finding Moonshine.

Still nothing from Bound Radical.

I hope this team-up doesn’t mean Totem’s going to stop making me chocolate milk every night before I try my hand at sleep. Or calling me Sunshine.


Or staying by my bed at night. I still like it when he does that.

I guess that’s all. A proper Thursday. Never could get the hang of them.

Hospitals are boring

I managed to fall asleep for about an hour. Then I had a nightmare. Of course. It was the end of the world and there was nobody by my side. I was all alone and there was nothing I could do to stop the world crashing down around me. I guess having all my nightmares be about Dr. Synegy would be a cliche.

My everything hurts. I wish my wristbands weren’t so stupid about what they healed. When I breathe, I start coughing up a storm because one of my ribs got broken and it punctured my lung. When I cough, my whole chest hurts and brings me back to the flashes of that day.

My attending nurse, Carmen, keeps trying to push painkillers on me but I don’t want them. This pain is the price of being a superhero, and I’ll pay it. Without help. I have to.

I’m pretty sure by now all the doctors and nurses in the hospital know who I am. Kind of hard not to. This is why I haven’t named the hospital.

It’s boring as hell being in a hospital. All I’ve been doing is watching shit on Totem’s computer. I might try my hand at writing soon. Something other than this blog, I mean. I have some ideas I’d like to see in print.

Oh well. Back to watching movies until I drift into nightmares again. Probably Chronicle. Love that movie.